Well, OSX is 10 years old now, and (although slightly ahead of schedule) it’s clear that it has entered its awkward teen years. Today begins a long, pubescent period of transition; filled with wonderful new emotions, pimples, and also hair in places there hasn’t been before.

And boners.

OSX Lion has left its childlike carefree confidence behind, and will likely spend the next several years trying very hard to be like the “cool kids.” Instead of developing its own style it will just slap a new UI right on top of the old one, like putting a fancy leather jacket over sweaty gym clothes. It will pretend that it has a touch interface so people will think it’s popular. It will try smoking cigarettes. It’ll read Ayn Rand. It will get an App Store and ride a motorcycle.

Sadly, none of these things will make Lion popular. All those new features will confuse the parents and be ignored by cool kids.

I, for one, will try to ignore this teen OSX. I can’t stand to watch all those teen mistakes: the gross mustache, weird UI choices, bad dancing, trying to be hip like iOS. It’s all too embarrassing to watch.

Barf.